“Make sure your kid is not at home when you plan this”

Dating and hooking up are difficult at the best of times, if you’re not sure what you’re doing. It’s important to keep scheduling correct, to make sure you’re not missing out on things, and to coordinate everything in your life with that of the new person you’re meeting. If you’re a single dad, however, everything gets a thousand times more complicated, as you already know. It may comfort you to know that there are hundreds of thousands of dads out there who know your pain. Even better may be the knowledge that you don’t have to settle for knowing that you can’t have something good like a hookup; you just need to get a few little logistical things out of the way first.

Make Sure They’re Out For Good

“Make sure your kids are happy and busy”

If possible, you should be hooking up with the woman you’re intending to see in a hotel room. However, we know that as a single dad, you might not be the most fiscally solvent at the moment. If you are, the fancy hotel room is a winning proposition. If not, you may have to take her home. As long as your house is clean and not terribly inconveniently located, it’s a better idea to take her home than to a crappy motel—as long as the kids are definitely not home. You don’t want them in their room playing video games, you don’t want them down the street at a friend’s house, and you don’t want to think that they’re going to show up at any moment. If you can’t be sure of those things, it needs to be a hotel room, for everyone’s sake.

If Emergencies are Possible, Let Her Know First

As a dad, you know that emergencies are possible. You’ve definitely experienced a few. If your kid is healthy and happy and with someone you trust, you might want to turn off your phone for at least an hour during your little “meeting,” and let them know that you’re going to be unavailable for a little while. If you have any reason to suspect that something could go wrong, let the woman you’re hooking up with know beforehand that you’re going to have your phone on in case of emergencies.

Don’t Be the Weird Dad

Women love kids—but using your kids to get a woman’s attention is a sleazy predator thing to do. If you’re flirting with a woman and she asks, or if it comes up in conversation, sure, you can go ahead and mention that you have kids and show a (SINGLE) picture. If it doesn’t come up naturally, do not bring your kids into the conversation until you have to for scheduling reasons. If all you can talk about is the kids you had with another woman, many women are going to feel guilty about “corrupting” a guy they see as a really good family man, and they won’t want to sleep with you. Don’t make it weird; leave the kids out of your one night stand.