Maybe we haven’t all been there, but plenty of us have been there. Sometimes, you’re all ready to hook up with a hot woman, but you find out too late that she’s not exactly…typical. Maybe she has a screw loose, maybe she’s just indulging herself in a fetish, but all of a sudden you get to your place or the hotel, and she suddenly tells you, “By the way, there’s a little something I’d like to try.”
Before you know it, you’re strung up to the ceiling and nibbling on her toes. What gives? Well, we’re here to help you out for any time you’ve been stuck in a sticky situation where the woman you’re with suddenly drops a fetish bombshell on you. We’ll teach you what to say, and how to deal.
The first thing you need to ask yourself is whether this woman’s fetish is safe both for you and for her. Don’t just trust that it is because she says she’s done it many times before, either. She might be lying, or she might be “exaggerating” a little bit. If you’re considering going along with her weird fetish, whatever it is, make sure you’re going to be safe first. If you can’t be sure that you’re going to be safe, you might want to take the discreet part of valor and bow gracefully out of this one. No matter how good this hookup is going to be, it’s not going to be so good you want to risk your health or even your life.
You might think that you “have” to try out her kink just because it’s not unsafe. After all, you brought her to the bedroom, and she won’t sleep with you if you don’t, right? Well, maybe. The chances are, If she waited until this point and then sprung it on you, she’s been turned down before when she asked in advance, and has found that this is her best chance to get what she wants. If what she wants to do grosses you out, don’t put yourself through that.
If her kink weirds you out, don’t stress yourself about it. You might want to look at WHY you’re afraid of what she wants to do. Do you think it will hurt, or be upsetting in some way? Or is it just weird because it’s new? If doing it isn’t going to put you in harm’s way and you don’t have a good reason not to, you can always experiment just so you can say you’ve done it.
Finally, ask yourself: is this girl crazy? Is it really worth sleeping with her? Go ahead and make sure that you’re not being brainwashed just because she’s really cute and you want to get the most out of hooking up with her. Believe us, we’ve been there, and we don’t want you to go there.
There’s a reason we recommend meeting women online instead of in bars. Well, there are lots of reasons, chief among them being that women on dating sites are way more receptive to the idea of going home with you than women in a bar will be. One of the other important reasons is that when men hang out in bars (us included), we tend to take advantage of them – to our own downfall. Whether you’re hanging around in a bar looking for women, or whether you’re meeting a woman for drinks before heading up to a hotel room, you’re better off hitting the booze lightly if at all. Here’s why:
Women aren’t all the same, and they don’t have all of the same opinions. However, one constant is that most women are much less likely to go home with a guy who’s sloshed out of his mind. They want a man that seems like he can take care of them. They don’t want a guy who’s already falling down drunk before they get out of the bar. Have a drink to steady your nerves if you need it, but that should be all. The women who will go home with a guy who’s three sheets to the wind are not the kind of women you want to be going home with in the first place.
One thing about alcohol is that it distorts your perception of memory. In other words, you’re likely to remember things differently from how they actually happened. One of the biggest reasons this is awful is because being drunk makes you less likely to have good sex. You can argue against that for yourself personally all you want, but statistically speaking, it’s unlikely. Alcohol functions as a nervous system depressant, which makes you less able to react to the things you feel, as well as almost certainly giving you some trouble getting (or keeping) it up, according to the Mayo Clinic (as if we needed to ask). Even if you remember having a great time while drunk, it’s a lot more likely that you’ll have an even better one while at least mostly sober.
If you just want to see a woman once and never again, you should make it the best once that either of you has ever had. If you’re curious about maybe hooking up with this woman again, however, you’re definitely going to want to stay at least mostly sober. Women are obviously more likely to go out with a man again if the sex was good, and you’ll have a better chance of making sure everything was good if you’re not too sauced to function. Whether you’re meeting her at a bar before your date or you’re just hanging out there for fun, trying to turn a one night stand into something more is a great reason to avoid getting drunk when you’re first meeting a woman for some fun.
There are a lot of reasons to hook up with younger girls. Granted, there are lots of reasons to hook up with women your own age or older as well, but there are DIFFERENT reasons for going after a younger girl. Whether you’re looking for a date or just a one night stand, girls who have something to look up to in you have a definite appeal, and some of those qualities might not show up right away. Here’s why you shouldn’t discount the idea of going home with a girl that’s significantly younger than you are:
No one is as young as they used to be, but you can still enjoy a hookup no matter how old you are. However, older women tend to be a little more willing to go once and be finished—after all, they’re not expecting it to get any better, and they’re not enthusiastic about the possibility of bruises and soreness the next morning. Younger women, on the other hand, are generally much more willing to go for broke as far as “all night long,” as long as you stay safe and keep properly hydrated. If you’re going to hook up with a younger woman, have a power snack beforehand. You’re probably going to need it, if all goes according to plan.
Many men don’t like spoiling and treating their girlfriends, but if you do, a younger woman is probably the direction you want to go. This is especially true if you’re not all that into the idea of dating a woman who needs to be in control of every aspect of the relationship. This isn’t to say that all women that age want to be protected and spoiled by a man. However, the ones that want to date older men are usually a little more old-fashioned, and more likely to want to be spoiled and pampered and taken care of. If that’s something you think you’d enjoy, go ahead and start looking for a woman who grew up several years after you – but make sure to keep it legal at all costs.
While we’ve had some great times hooking up with women who are our age or older, we can’t deny that younger women are a lot easier. They’re not just easier in the sense that they’ll go home with a man more easily, but in the sense that they haven’t been around, seen the world, and become jaded. There’s a definite trend in older women where they’ve seen it all before, and nothing is quite as impressive as it used to be. You’re definitely not going to be the first one to send them flowers. With a younger woman, she’s much more likely to be appreciative, and to enjoy even the little things that you do for her. After all, it might be the first time anyone ever has. Take advantage of that newness, and blow her mind.
There are plenty of reasons that you should hook up with an older woman. Sure, younger women are smoking hot and have the stamina to go all night – but do you really want to be their first introduction to everything? There’s a time and a place, and sometimes, an older women can fill a niche that you didn’t know you needed filled. These women are looking for younger men to play around with, and they play the games that you like – or the ones that you’ll soon realize you like. Here are some of our top reasons for why you should be looking at older women for a one night stand (or more).
Our first reason is always the most obvious: an older woman knows exactly what she’s doing in bed. More than that, she’s more likely to know exactly what she wants. No more fumbling around trying to figure out if your girl likes being touched this way or that way, an older woman is much more likely to just grab your hand (or head) and put it where it needs to be to get her where she’s going. You don’t have to worry so much about whether she’s going to enjoy the things you’re doing; this woman is thrilled to let you know right away that she’s in control of her own pleasure, and yes, it’s going to be good if she has anything to say about it. If you’re into getting a woman off and having the kinky ride of your life, an older woman is the way to go.
This is going to make us sound like freeloaders, but we’re okay with that. Yes, sometimes we get sick of always treating a woman to everything. It’s 2013; there can be a little economic equality around here. Sure, sometimes it’s nice to be a gentleman and see her eyes light up when you pull her chair out and stuff like that, but sometimes we just want to meet for drinks or sandwiches – how important is it that you pay for that? If you’re hooking up with an older woman, she’ll be much more likely to be fiscally solvent, and won’t mind covering her own costs. You should still offer, of course.
There’s very little you can do that will freak out an older woman. They’ve seen the world, they’ve been dealing with men for decades (whether just one or many), and they pretty much know the gist of what’s going on. These women are not about to get all freaked out because you asked to try something weird, and they’re not going to be shocked at most of the things you say or suggest. If you want a woman who’s blushing and inexperienced, go ahead, but there’s definitely something to be said for the charms of a woman who won’t blush and stutter and edge away when you ask her to try something kinky.
The art of the pick-up has been done and re-done a thousand times, with some calling for pick-up lines to be saved, and some calling for their retirement. Recently, there have been many articles floating around claiming that women like pick-up lines, because they like that a man is willing to be dorky. Unfortunately, we can’t agree with this. In our personal experience, using pick-up lines is going to get you a date with exactly one person: your right hand. Here are some of the reasons why we think pick-up lines are a stupid idea that you should retire from your vocabulary:
Here’s the thing about pick-up lines that you’ve heard before: they’re stupid. All of them are stupid. If you’re naturally smooth, you’ll be able to pull one off, yes. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the people who use pick-up lines aren’t naturally smooth. They use pick-up lines because of that, not in addition, and it just amplifies the problem and makes it that much worse. If you’re going to use a pick-up line on a woman, it had better be the smartest, most interesting pick-up line in the world to make up for your nervousness, and the vast majority of pick-up lines are stupid puns and jokes that don’t really work.
Have you heard the pick-up line about falling from heaven? Of course you have. More importantly, that hot girl at the bar has, too. She’s probably heard it about a dozen times in the last few days, if she’s been hanging around at the bar. Find new material, or be prepared to go home alone.
By this point, it should be no secret that we’re big fans of meeting women online for dates, hookups, and one night stands. As such, we’re extra against pick-up lines. Those lines have a place – they’re for guys who can pull them off when they don’t have time to think of something better. Online, however, you have all the time in the world to think of a good opening line, and she can’t tell whether you’re suave or interesting from your delivery. This makes pick-up lines a TERRIBLE idea to use online… which significantly cripples their effectiveness as far as we’re concerned.
The thing about pick-up lines is that not only has every woman heard them before, but they’re not very good. Even a guy who isn’t the smoothest rock on the beach can pull out a decent line, given some time. Yes, the art of the conversation is a difficult one, but if you can’t approach women well, you’re not going to be able to go home with them. Work on your pick-up skills, work on your specialized lines, and you’ll be far more likely to get a woman to go home with you. Just telling her she’s an angel is as likely to get you an eye roll as it is to get you a date.
There’s an allure to younger women, sure. Older women can be the ride of your life if you know how to pull it off. But sometimes, we forget about the easiest demographic that can be the most receptive: women our own age. There are several great reasons to hook up with women of your own age, and if you haven’t done it in a while, you might be overdue to give it a shot. Here are some of the best reasons we’ve found for hooking up with a girl at the same approximate time in her life as us:
Nothing makes you feel older or younger than – when the woman you’re dating doesn’t get your jokes. If you’re going to make a joke about something that was on TV when you were young, there’s an oddly specific age range for when it works. Even if you think it was so huge that no one could have avoided it, a few little years can make all of the difference. You’ll be funnier with people your own age, and you’ll seem smarter, too. All of the little references we don’t even realize we’re slipping in to regular conversation work in your favor with someone who understands them, so don’t worry quite as much about filtering your speech. Chances are, she knows exactly what you’re talking about.
Women your own age are generally in the same part of their lives that you are. If you’re in your 40s and looking for a one night stand, for example, they’ve probably also gone through long-term relationships, had a divorce, and had some kind of crisis in their own lives. They’ll understand the pressures currently on you. They also won’t dismiss the things you’re going through, because they’ve likely been there as well. Hooking up with younger women can be a great ego booster, but it does sometimes remind you way too much of how old you are. The same can be said for dating an older woman. Think about the way adults treated your problems when you were a teenager: “If you think that’s hard, wait until you get to the REAL world.” You don’t want to be the person in your relationship talking like that, and you don’t want to be the one hearing it, either.
Whether you intend to create a power imbalance with your date or not, there’s no denying that they’re very common in couples with a significant age difference. One reason is that age brings some other things that naturally lend themselves to power – such as fiscal security and confidence. If only one member of your relationship has those things, even if they’re only a one night stand, there can be a definite power imbalance going on that you’re not going to want to deal with. The same is true for if you’re dating an older woman – you’re going to chafe at the power she has eventually.
Let’s be honest – or not. You’re looking for a one night stand, and that means you don’t have to worry about whether or not your date is going to find out about that time you got drunk at last year’s Christmas party. You don’t have to worry about finding out most things about your date, either – but that doesn’t mean you want to hold out on things that she needs to know.
Yes, there are some things that your one night stand needs to know, even if you’re planning on hooking up with her once and never again. She might not need to know the full extent of your bank account, but she does need to know a few key pieces of information. Don’t worry. We’re not about being excessively honest. Everything else, you can go ahead and keep to yourself if you don’t think it’s relevant.
If she’s going to need to be gone by daybreak, she needs to know about it. If you’re going to need to hide in a closet at some point, both of you need to know about it. If there are any time limits you have to deal with – if you have to pick someone up, if you have to meet someone, and if you have to do anything that you know about in advance – you need to tell your hookup before you start the date.
It’s definitely not necessary to tell your one night stand about all of your kinks. You might not even know all of them, and that’s fine, too. But if there are certain kinks that you need to play with in order to get off, your date definitely needs to know about them in advance. Don’t just assume that she’ll be fine with it. If you don’t care whether or not she does something, feel free to ask her in the heat of the moment – and know that you might not get it. However, if it’s a deal-breaker, you have to ask before either of you show up to the date, or you’ll both be disappointed.
Honesty is a great starting point for any relationship – but what if you’re not looking to start a relationship? If you’re just getting into a one night stand, you’re probably not thinking of how honest you want to be with her. You’re probably thinking of how much you can afford to get away with, and what you can get away with lying about.
Fortunately, you actually don’t have to tell your one night stand much of anything when it comes to your personal life. There are a few things that you might be surprised to find out you can pretty easily lie about without consequences, as long as you’re planning on never seeing this woman again. Of course, you have to be willing and able to lie effortlessly, so make sure you practice in the mirror before meeting in person.
The girl you’re seeing for just one night? Yeah, she doesn’t care how much you make in a year. Or rather, she doesn’t care if you’re telling the truth about how much you make in a year. To tell the truth, you don’t even have to come clean about what your actual job is if you don’t want to. If you work in a factory that produces cars, you’re “in the automotive industry.” If you’re a cashier at a pet store, you “work with animals.” Don’t try to fix what isn’t broken. She doesn’t need all of that information, so don’t try and saddle her with it when it’s not important.
There are a lot of places where you can get in better if you’re more intelligent. For example, this is definitely true in many job interviews. Your one night stand date is not a job interview, however, and you don’t get extra points for being a member of MENSA. If you ARE into smart girls who will only put out for guys who have a degree, go ahead and flaunt it. But if you don’t have the degree of your dreams, don’t bother trying to lie about it. There are plenty of girls who don’t care, and lying about something like that is going to make you look really self-absorbed. It’s a pretty easy lie to see through.
Getting ready for a date can be a nerve-racking experience. You know that your date, even if she’s just a one night stand, is going to have certain expectations and standards. You want to be able to live up to them, but what if you fail? A lot of guys in this situation get overly ready for their date, and wind up falling flat when they realize they’ve gone way too far. There are preparations you need to take, sure, but you don’t need to overdo it. Here are some of the worst offenders when it comes to things men overdo before going out with a woman:
You’d think that women are the ones who go overboard on the fragrance department. According to most of the women we’ve talked to about this, you’d be incorrect. Whatever you do, do not go overboard on the body spray. This is apparently some kind of cardinal sin, and you’d be better off doing away with it entirely. Another thing to watch out for is that your fragrances don’t clash. It’s great to have hand lotion, deodorant, aftershave, and cologne, but you have to make sure that they all work together. Otherwise, you’re basically serving her a plate of steak, croissants, ice cream, and marinara, all drenched in gravy.
Go ahead and have a drink to summon up your courage. However, if you “pre-game” too much, you’re going to discover that the only thing you’re good at doing that night will be laying down and eating a lot of Cheetos. Women don’t want to go on dates with drunken men. They don’t mind if men drink, but there’s a difference between that and being drunk. No one wants to go out with that guy, so keep it socially acceptable.
If you’ve been reading our guides, you know that it’s important to pack a bag before your one night stand. However, you don’t need to go overboard – we’ve heard stories of guys bringing their suitcases on one night stands, only to have to leave them in the car. Just bring a change of clothes, condoms, lube, and whatever sex toys and games you think the two of you are going to want. Leave the luggage at home – you’re not moving in together.
We have talked before about the fact that you don’t have to talk about your actual job when you’re on a hookup date. However, there are a few jobs that you’re going to want to talk about. These are the hottest, most interesting jobs that a man can have in order to attract a woman. Now, this doesn’t count things like President or being Robert Downey Jr., because those are pretty much impossible for your average guy to achieve. However, there are a lot of guys out there that can achieve some jobs that women think are hot. You just have to know what they are. Some of the hottest jobs out there according to women are:
Yes, it’s difficult to become a CEO. However, being the CEO of a startup, no matter how small, shows just what kind of driven individual you are. This is the kind of thing that can make a woman sit up and take notice, and it won’t matter whether your company has made any money yet. What’s important to her is that you’re doing something with your life. As a warning, this is not a good thing to lie about, because she’ll probably want to know a lot more information than you can quickly bullshit on the spot. If you are going to use this as a cover story, make sure you’ve thought it through extensively.
The key to having a girl think your job as a DJ is sexy is by telling her that it’s your full-time job. There are a lot of guys who get into stuff like that as a hobby or a part-time gig while they’re still living at home. You don’t want her to think you’re one of those. Instead, let her know that this is your actual job, where you do actual work.
It’s true that every girl thinks firemen are hot. It just seems to be a constant law of the universe. Part of the appeal is that they’re in shape, of course, but part of it seems to be that there’s no such thing as a bad fireman – it’s a man in uniform that in general won’t go rogue or dirty, unlike soldiers or policemen can and have in the past. Firemen are heroes who wear uniforms and are always in shape – what girl doesn’t want a part of that?
If you’re less a nerd, more a jock, being a doctor can be one of the best decisions you can make for your love life. Even better, any part of becoming a doctor pretty much gets you in. Medical school, internships, training – it all adds up to “doctor,” and women think doctors are one of the sexiest professions that exist. If you’re going to be a doctor, or even if your career is just medicine-adjacent (like nurse, sports medicine, physical trainer, etc.), you’re setting yourself up for a lifeline ticket to getting laid whenever you want, as long as you know how to work it.